25lines, redux

the body can asset dominance. mind over body, yes. but if the body rebels, then what? then the mind must be still. mind 1, body 1.

go to bed with one state. wake up with another. ignore, avoid, forget consciously – go through the night in peace. wake up under duress. pain. stronger than usual. my body’s way of punishing me.

to share. i could converse with the self, yes. i could. but why? the fallout from reflection would be lost, kept secret. to write is – for me – to share. there are conversations that i have with myself, of course. but those are quite different. quite. the thoughts i express to myself, reflexive, you [...]

yesterday, on the road home, i was asked by the nether parts of my conscious – if today was THE day, where would I go? tokyo? california? boston? but last night i dreamt of hong kong. HE was there as well. Perhaps because his son is engaged, so I stewed in my head. He was [...]

i remember once learning that it is ?difficult, ?rare?, or ??impossible?? to touch in dreams. and still last night i touched i wrapped my arm around you pulled you close and you touched warm like i know you would why were you there at all? my dreams are no place for your spirit to dwell. [...]

i do the numbers. i do the words. the words, images, sounds we think in change over time, don’t they? the written record of our consciousness leaves traces – ghosts in the spaces between the characters. the unsealed spaces row after row. the devil’s place, for me to trace.

i hurt my leg and my arm. soft bio matter.

went kayaking yesterday. we tipped our boat. there was definitely a good 5-10 seconds of disorientation before focusing on saving the dry-bag, oars, boat, ourselves. i heard my boat-mate calling for help, and made my way over. we talked about this at house a while back – being sharp and decisive with people in a [...]

can you? you cannot prove anything. to believe, to want to believe – these influence our perception of the world. to trust, to want to trust – it is all just the same. and yet the frantic dreams of late make me question my own state of balance. can there be balance when i am [...]

confusion can come from listening. direction comes from silence, within. know well what pushes you forward. know well what holds you back.

to see the edge is to be finite. the more we learn, the more we know, the less we ask stupid questions. stupid questions are what bring greatness to life. does that make sense? maybe not. i’m half awake, half dreaming right now, and i have been for some time. hm.

someone typed in “badomp” in google and found 25lines. my, the internet is full of people. there’s a lot of power from these connections. to date, i think most of it is junk. there are very simple things, simple questions, queries – what have you, that should be possible, but are not. I’m surprised that [...]

I used to write for myself. And then I became conscious of my audience, and I started writing for you. But then, you know, I realized that that’s a bit like selling out. Giving the audience what they want, rather than keeping true to my self. but now it’s back to the old self. continue [...]

post-run acid accumulating in my legs. it burns. it hurts. it pains. but it feels… glorious.

“hey dude, what should i eat for dinner?” “where are you?” “the grocery store.” “you should eat running for dinner” and you know? I did.

i find that electronic music (at least the stuff I listen to) is intrinsically uplifting. it taints my world with delight and soothes the abrasions throughout the day. this is why the RyPod is an integral part of me every day. i dj my own soundtrack, to my life. i remember sitting in 10-250 watching [...]

from junior summer i think. fantastical. how much do we repeat ourselves? are we cyclic? this is why i build the brain. to know this, to grow from my past as much as i grow every day. the brain. daedalus. ….but also icarus, the evil step brother. What would JC Denton do? to live in [...]

when light is unnaturally bright, the mind grasps a clarity otherwise unseen. in darkness, sight is focused within. without my lenses the primary lens abstracts the world to colors, all blended. fuzzy. sight of a refrain of an orchestral piece, with no distinctive shape, no distinctive definition. i am forced to take in the world [...]

the many voices together, each with independent articulations often of the very same, syntactically different. each slurs into my semi conscious loop of processing. to work is to think. to think is to create. to create is to play. to play is to work. breaks in the loop result in interrupts with others for no [...]