25lines, redux

i think last night was the night of power. And what will explain to thee what the night of power is? The Night of Power is better than a thousand months. more later. today is the first day of non-training!

in anything, really. if we are just an intelligent network communicating information, it then really matters which nodes you connect with. for some people, they are completing lower functions, without contemplating anything else. and really, economics might determine whether they even have the time to do so. but if we do, then shouldn’t we be [...]

i can definitely tell you know that i’ll still be listening to porcelina of the vast oceans 30 years from now… if you haven’t heard it, find it – Smashing Pumpkins – Porcelina of the vast oceans of their album “Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness” while you’re at it, get the song titled the [...]

mind’s asleep, dulled to death tones and voices and lights flash by sit at my terminal all day all night plugged in, jacked in capital in, capital out searching for what’s left of meaning in all this brain wants spood fed content can’t give it enough what’s left who knows i’m still waiting, thru the [...]

rubber o clock my brain drops dull and glazed and all in a haze and around the garden run we all sun up sun down the sunlight is drowned behind the blinds in our faux bunker projector lights into the night until we all get to ride home

one of the best parts of my day is when i have some sugar-bombed cereal for breakfast or for midnight-snack and then drinking the milk that’s most perfectly tainted by the grains for which it is a medium. sweetened ever so slightly, it hits taste buds that otherwise never shine. also good is post-cookie milk.

or thoughts that drift away – primitive radio gods – standing outside a broken phone booth (with money in my hand) in the end, what constitutes a life? sometimes i can’t help but wonder if the people around me really exist. nothing to do with the matrix, you know me. but what if each universe [...]

it’s difficult to do what you want unless you know what you want. and it’s difficult to know what you want, what you truly, really want, unless you’re prepared to follow it down, to the end and back. that’s the way we roll.

i wonder if it hasn’t gotten softer since high school? maybe it’s sitting down all day, not playing sports (yes, that core has gotten softer too), or maybe it’s just actually having to do work for once (sorry high school, you were a joke). whatever it is, i’m slowly learning how to roll with the [...]

perhaps happiness is simply relative. that is to say, as a child, you’re as happy as you could be at any given point. but then one day, you realize that things aren’t as good as they once were – maybe a toy is taken away, or you feel hungry. this isn’t while you’re an infant [...]

and are oddly reassuring. but it’s like living out a dream while doing completely different stuff in the real world. maybe my body has just learned to produce its own endorphins this way and is hooked. i don’t know, but maybe. but really, it’s not feasible to walk around all day thinking in your head [...]

i was gonna rant about how someone struck a nerve today, not reaching for the top, pushing the envelope, but then i found out that something kinda scary happened. now lets be clear, that the preservation of self is more critical than the pushing of the envelope. now it’s not every day that something scary [...]

i guess lately i’ve been chopping out my personal life as much as i can. immersed in work, sleeping, and then otherwise filling myself with content. yeah, that’s basically it. wondering if maybe i’m trying to keep myself from having too much time to think about my life, spending more time trying to think about [...]

write a book be an artist, designer, a poet go to the aquarium have my own aquarium help everyone have fun give education to the kids engineer my biology

was the name of a class at school i think. i had a conversation with a friend tonight, about money, the future, and living. two different views on essentially the same problem. nomadic and agrarian. i picture my life, and it’s hard to see myself settling down. even now, my apartment is really just a [...]

uaxen posted a comment, only ’cause of the f***ing spam, I never saw it until tonight. refers to an old article of his, copied and pasted, shamelessly: Chapter 3: Innovation Overload of work, even if exciting and productive, produces chemical imbalances in the brain. Sort of. Of course it’s all psychological, and a real brainscan [...]

i don’t know how to explain it. a sense of overwhelm. maybe a heavy burden. not sure what to say really. it’s not stress, tho it could partly be. sometimes it feels like too much. just a little too much.

at least for me they don’t become super human, but permanently etched in that one way. and then they change, they always do and you’re forever disappointed. that happened to a friend once it’s like people aren’t constant, we are many individuals at one time together and at once combined and different people bring out [...]

allow the target to reveal itself to you and let your arrow fly true sing a song of glory to thank for your aim sweet and true let fly into the wind above shadows cast by clouds and watch your arrow into the sky

seriously it’s scary how fast not even just days but minutes, and hours go by. it’s like the brain tunes out other distractions, and you’re just in it, like you’re not even thinking and stuff. you’re just in it, and that’s it. i definitely find that weekends come faster now, and they go faster, what [...]